MA'AM, MA'AM, ANO PO BA ANG DILDO?

January 18, 2005

si jop ay isang pinay na teacher sa isang elementary school sa “ni-yu joi-see”, USA. nakakatawa ang blog niya tungkol sa experiences sa loob ng classroom kaya pag may time kayo ay bisitahin ninyo siya. anyway, last week daw ay mayroong 12 year old pupil na nagtanong sa kanya kung ano raw ang “dildo“. before siya na “save by the bell” ay naiblurt out niya (for the lack of a better word, i guess) na ang “dildo” raw is a kind of toy. kung sa akin nangyari yan ay sasagutin ko ang tanong via multiple choice. parang ganito: “ok class, listen up. a dildo may be any of the following. choose the best answer:

A. it’s the cartoon character in the old seven up commercials”.

B. it’s an extinct stupid bird.

C. a dildo is a variety of sweet pickle

D. it’s a girl toy that’s used when there’s no boy.

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No Responses Yet to “MA'AM, MA'AM, ANO PO BA ANG DILDO?”

  1. mari Says:

    ang sagot po ba ayyyy letter D? hahaha. i dont want to be caught dead in that situation. i’d probably tell the same, that its a toy.
    i remember my kid asking me about boobs. bakit daw malaki ang boobs ng mga babae? sabi ko kasi ganun talaga ang mga girls. wala na kong maisip na sagot eh. haay, kids talaga.


  2. MAGALING! 10 points for you mari. ngyehehe… ako rin ganyan ng bata at siyempre tinanong ko na rin nung araw sa mommy ko kung saan ako galing.

    sa pwet daw niya.

    matagal bago ako nagtanong mga mga “birds and the bees” questions ulit sa kanya.

  3. jessie Says:

    parang pamangkin ko. tanong sya bakit daw wala kaming bototoy at isinasama kasi namin maligo. sabi lang namin, ang boys may bototoy, ang girls wala. at mag-isa na namin siyang pinaliliguan after that. πŸ˜€

    as for you being married 44 years and still with a great sex life… hmmm. can’t help you there. medyo parang di ko natatanong sa parents ko yan eh. hehehe. but am sure at the rate you’re going, you’ll do fine. πŸ˜€

  4. jop Says:

    bosing,
    aba’t honored naman ako’t napa-extra na naman ako sa blog mo, hehe. kaw talaga, kwela kahit kelan. actually ikaw nga ang naisip ko at the end of that day eh. iniisip ko, “pakshet, asan na ba si batjay kapag kelangan mo ng matinding sagot sa matinding tanong?” hayaan mo bosing, itetext kita kapag napasubo ako sa isa pang sitwasyong parang ganito…

    p.s.
    bosing, natapos ko na ang ang fables and reflections saka brief lives. tama ka, yung book ni bender napakagandang supplement. i can’t wait for my other sandman komiks… i waaaannnnntttt mmmmooooorrrreeeee!!!!!!

  5. g Says:

    I can’t help but laugh and at the same time thankful to not be in that predicament. As I think about it, I probably would have answered “It is a vibrating massager” *whew*


  6. hi jessie.

    may narinig na rin akong explanation about the pototoy. ito yung “the garahe analogy”. ano raw yung ginagawa nina mommy at daddy, ang tanong ng anak kay daddy nang mahuli silang nag tatalik…

    wala raw. pinaparada lang daw ni daddy ang kotse niya sa garahe ni mommy.

    “ah ok”. sabi ni anak. sabay dagdag… “pero alam mo daddy, pag wala ka, pinaparada rin ng driver natin ang kotse niya sa garahe ni mommy”.


  7. hi jop.

    hindi na ba inulit ng mga students mo ang dildo question? ngyehehe… next time, magdala ka ng sample para masindak sila. ay huwag na lang. kung ano-anong mga katarantaduhan ang tinuturo ko sa iyo.


  8. hi there g.

    a vibrating massager. hmm. interesting. i learn new things everyday.

    i remember when i was 12 years old. our class had a lot of sex related questions during our annual retreat. which prompted our science teacher to speed up our sex education lessons… both lecture and film. we did have sanitized videos explaining the reproductive system back then.


  9. is there a letter b?
    di ba parang yung bird yun?
    ehehehe
    kasi kung hindi dildon’t yun πŸ™‚


  10. SPIN A WIN!

    what can they do? it’s either they dildo or they dildon’t. there’s no middle ground. dodo ang letter “B”, although minsan bird din ang tawag nila sa dildo.

    Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
    A: They are both substitute meats.

  11. luchie_g Says:

    sorry Mr batjay but with regards to children’s education about sexuality, i am not amused of your post. anyway, i am the one to blame for i visited your site. cheers!


  12. hi luchie.

    this post was never meant as sex education for children.

    cheers! jay

  13. Yupki Says:

    Hahaha, this is one reason why I didn’t consider teaching, baka kung ano maituro ko sa mga estudyante ko!


  14. Si Jop nga ay biglang natulala. Ako rin siguro. I can’t teach elementary. Dapat ay senior high school and above. Baka masyadong liberal ang aking mga pananaw. Perhaps too liberal for the parents.

  15. hilda Says:

    Kakatawa naman ang mga posts mo. Iba-blogroll kita ha? Kakaaliw kasi ang blog mo eh, talo pa ‘yong a joke-a-day calendar ko. Tenk yu ho.


  16. hi hilda from california. sige link lang. basta sigurado lang ng you’re over 18. ngyehehe. jokadey calendar?

  17. rolly Says:

    When i was also a young teacher, a grade seven girl asked me what “libog” is. Natulala ako. siyempre bago pa lang ako e. If I remember correctly, ang sagot ko was, “Why don’t you ask your mother, or your PE teacher?” Sa PE kasi nakapaloob yung Health na may sex education e. Siguro, pag ngayon ako tanungin ng ganon, yun pa rin ang sagot ko.


  18. that’s the best answer i could think of. ask your mom or tama the teacher in charge of health. during our time it was our science teacher. kawawa naman siya – together with the priest at school. they were swamped with questions from very inquisitive 12 year olds. i remember we started asking sex related questions in 4th and 5th grade.

  19. anders Says:

    thanks kuya batjay.
    i’m over 18 naman so ok lng. nasabi ko lng na bawal bcuz of the group i’m in.

    but i think there’s nothing wrong. hehe…

  20. karla Says:

    haha
    san naman kaya nakuha ng student niya yung word na yun? grabe yun ah.. hehe
    pero safe answer pa rin. lolz

  21. kat Says:

    the answer is D! hahah….i remember when we were little (i think i was 6 or 7 yrs old), my cousins and i came across my uncle’s stash of “colorful balloons.” we thought it was neat that they came in their own, individual packaging. we blew up a whole bunch of them and showed EVERYONE. we didn’t understand why our uncle was so pissed off…. it only dawned on my sometime in high school that these were not ordinary balloons…heheh..


  22. hi anders. is the group you’re in called – “samahan ng mga laban sa dildo”? hehehe. just kidding. parang nakita ko nga sa site mo na medyo religious group ata ang sinalihan mo. good luck then.

    take care,
    jay


  23. hi karla.

    doon sa mga comment sa blog ni jop ay may sinsabi si the wily filipino na baka hindi raw nakuha ang full context ng “dildo” – eg “as in nasabihan yung student nang ‘Shut up, you dildo!’ nang isang kaklase”.


  24. SPIN-A-WIN kat…

    yes, i used to play with those colorful balloons when i was younger. in fact i was curious (intrigued would be a better word) why the tip of this kind of balloon has a nipple and why the balloon itself had this slippery goo inside. it perplexed me for the longest time.

    in the philippines in the late 70’s there was this brand called “Protec Condoms”. yes protec without a “T”. they gave away free samples during town fiestas. sometimes we blew them up. sometimes we filled them with water.

  25. cynthia Says:

    fido dildo…wahahahahahaha!!!!!

    sumasakit tiyan ko sa kakatawa!

  26. pegasus Says:

    Naalala ko tuloy, there was this high school student, who asked his teacher (a 60-year old Dominican priest) if he ever M___bate. Lumabas na lang ng classroom yung pari. Babae pa namn nagtanong. Nyahahahaha.

  27. bambit Says:

    letter D! gleng nagra-rhyme pa! πŸ™‚ bossing, i-link kita sa blog ko ha para naman mabuhay ang dugo ng mga bumibisita dun πŸ˜€

  28. joyce Says:

    lekat na mga bata yan…ang hirap kaya sumagot sa ganyang klaseng tanong! i had an experience like that with a student in one of the schools where i used to teach…di ko na ikukuwento…baka matanggalan ako ng lisensya. susmaryosep, ganyan din ang edad, dose! at mas graphic pa!


  29. talaga pegasus? hehehehehe… sana ay hindi na lang lumabas ang pari at nagpatuloy na may lecture.


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