December 14, 2004

FOREIGNER: you speak good english!
BATJAY: fuck you! porke ganire ang kulay ng balat ko…

FOREIGNER: what did you just mumble?
BATJAY: ah nating. it’s my stomach – i ate curry in da airplane kasi.

FOREIGNER: your accent is so american!
BATJAY: yours is so australian!

FOREIGNER: are you american?
BATJAY: no. just look at my skin, stupid. i’m swedish.

FOREIGNER: but did you study in the US?
BATJAY: no, i studied in the low school of st. andrew fields!

FOREIGNER: the what?
BATJAY: mababang paaralan ng san andres bukid

FOREIGNER: so, where are you really from?
BATJAY: the philippines… MABUHEY!

FOREIGNER: where’s that?

BATJAY: wataymintuseyis – it’s north of australia

FOREIGNER: do you eat balut, like da wan in fear factor?
BATJAY: yes, but only with suka.

BATJAY: suka – vinegar made from coconut. you make sawsaw da balut so bery nays!

FOREIGNER: so how do you like australia?
BATJAY: so many langaw!

BATJAY: flies! you have so many damn flies and it bothers me.

NOTE: CLICK HERE for even more SNAPPY ANSWERS to stupid foreigner’s questions.


  1. mari Says:

    why so many flies? bakeeett?

  2. luchie_g Says:

    naku mamang batjay, namiss tuloy namin ang balut. meron ba non sa Lucky Plaza?

  3. Here’s one snappy i could not forget.

    In a new york highriser, a fil-am employee was on the elevator with lots of them americans, going down. The Filipino was standing just in front of tyhe elevator door.

    On going down to the ground floor, the elevator stopped in one of the floors. As the doors opened, another filipino was waiting to board (they know each other) and he asked: “Bababa Ba?”

    The other filipino answered affirmatively, “Bababa.”

    Them americans on board was scratching their heads and one of them asked the couple of filipinos, ” How do you understand each other by speaking like that?”.

  4. celiaK Says:

    hi Ka Batjay, this is hilarious! hehehe!
    ‘Musta na?

  5. karla Says:

    haha. 😀
    maybe the foreigner was thinking that you’re a native american. hehe

  6. rolly Says:

    dagdag mo kaya to:

    foreigner: why are you so hostile to foreigners?
    Batjay: hostile… dog style, any fucking style, no problem when foreigner beautiful.

  7. soloflite Says:

    Foreigner: What does “Tang ina mo” mean?
    Soloflite: It means Good Morning in Filipino. Tangina mo…


  8. kat Says:

    kamusta na? just stopping by to say hi…

  9. hi kat.

    have you heard the bachman turner overdrive song called “rock is my life”? it’s a bit obscure since it came out of the 70’s and nobody listens to them anymore. but it’s a great song.

    i think that best describes your life and your lifestyle. ang galing. inggit ako – you’re in the heart of rock and roll and you’re a rocker at heart. how cool can that be? sana i could take jet to new york one of these days so we can experience the lifde you’re living, even for a few days.

  10. BaTambay Says:

    soloflite, ganyan din ang bati namin nung araw sa mga teacher naming di marunong magturo.

  11. Manuel Says:

    Foreigner: “You speak good English!”
    Pinoy: “So do you.”

    Natahimik siya.

  12. line ko rin yan don manuel, ever since i encountered this brit when we were training in the UK many years ago. it’s as if he’s wondering out loud how a brown skinned asian man could speak his language better than him. i’ve encountered many non-pinoys in my travels who always start with this line – perhaps to them it’s nothing. dinadaan ko lang sa biro, pero i get offended. and perhaps it’s just as well. showing your displeasure through humor makes it even more potent sometimes.

    ingat sir.

  13. tin Says:

    mwahahaha. this made my day! tenks, kuya batjay!

  14. gail Says:

    i had to laugh out loud. na-miss ko pa kayo, kuya batjay! 😉

  15. gail Says:

    foreigner who knows tagalog: you type bad tag-alog
    gail, embarrassed: well, yeah. i meant: “na-miss ko PO kayo, kuya batjay”

    story of my life.

  16. hi karla. perhaps, because of my dark skin. but i have chinky eyes so i look more like an eskimo. perhaps we was just surprised, that’s all.

  17. bwahahaha – uy tito rolly. may hostile tendencies ka rin pala. ayos!

  18. Hey Josef. Thanks for dropping by. I loved your story BTW, it gave me quite a laugh. Ingat na lang sa iyo and good luck to whatever you’re doing.

  19. MatNyey Says:

    hi gail. welcome back. salamat ulit sa pag comment mo kahit na bulol ka. ngyehehe. ingat! jay

  20. hi tin. ngyehehe.. no problem. uwi na kami bukas. ingat na lang rin sa pag uwi ninyo.


  21. lornadahl Says:

    As a call center agent, I had customers surprised that I can speak good English. Kakatawa.

  22. hi lornadahl.

    thanks for dropping by. kung minsan di na nakakatawa. minsan insulting na porke asian tayo, ang stereotype eh mga bobo sa english.

    inbahin nila tayo – they should change us. hehehe.

  23. lornadahl Says:

    LOL at they should change us.

    Oo nga, minsan nakakainis na. Come to think of it, Brits hate them (Americans, my callers) for bastardizing English.

  24. what are they trying to exit? in tagalog – ano ba ang gusto nilang palabasin?

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